Thoughts Aloud 2023e

latest scattered ideas + imgs

Someone somewhere is working on a faucet that stops while people are brushing their teeth, and then re-starts when it’s time to rinse. This faucet will be voice-control only, with no lever(s), and you will have to train it to recognize your saying, “Water, please,” with a mouth full of toothpaste.

“You have 45 seconds of total brush time left,” it will respond in a British woman’s voice rife with authority. “Re-starting your water stream now will deduct four credits from your weekly hydration subscription…”

“Ok, whatever,” you’ll say through foaming Colgate.

“You now have forty seconds to rinse. All faucets on this network will then shut off for twenty eight minutes to balance out your usage to maintain the daily average of homes just like yours. Thank you for helping us keep the planet safe for generations to come.”

After a while, you’ll learn to brush through the faucet’s yammering. The shushing of bristles scouring enamel, amplified to the level of an egg shaker in your head, will recede the sinkvoice to the background. If you’re of the electric persuasion, the sonic landscape of your ultrasonic toothbrush will pulse and drone a wide spectrum of noise-canceling frequencies through every cavity in your skull. Satisfying stuff.