The Last Repair

Meta Meat Team Mate

Westy Reflector


Amuse Bouche:



“food synthesizer” (dall-e2)

Ford Kharkey sat behind the wheel of his immaculate repair van, eyes scanning the road ahead. His assistant, Cleave, a lumpy nug of rich red and pink ground beef, sat shotgun, upright in a plastic tub secured by a metal O-ring lashed to the passenger seatbelt. Just south of Belle Glade on Florida 27, they drove in silence for a while, punctuated by the intermittent sounds of love bug splats and wipers against the windshield.

As nugs went, Cleave was the best repairmeat Ford had ever worked with, going 22 years back to his first gig with The Burbegeir Bumbger Corporation. Their first-generation stem-cell driven vending machine, the Forgottomanni.1000 Food Synthesizer, named for the co-inventor of sentient meat, Emilio Forgottomanni, brought BB’s patented Stemburger™ to every corner of our round Earth.

Ford and his first few partner nugs at BB witnessed history as it happened as they maintained those early machines. On the backs of their army of repairmen and repairmeats, BB’s synthesized burgers dominated the early market for stand-alone stem-cell driven vending.

The stemburger patty comprised a chimeric hybrid stem-line that weaved truffle-fed pork belly and wooly mammoth cheek into Wagyu ribeye. The 1000 series machines also stemmed all the finished dish components on the fly in its internal collider, from the lettuce to the catsup. A self-sustaining colony of licensed Frame Breadspiders even spun the buns.